Tattoos.

I just love the things... if they are well done and tasteful. I enjoy hearing about why people put certain tattoos on their body and the meaning behind them. It's a beautiful, artistic way to show people what you are all about.

I posted on here a while ago about my tattoo and the reasonings behind why I had it forever placed on my skin. I don't regret it (good thing too, it's only been about 8 months!) and I never will.

But I am going to get another one some day based on Song of Solomon 8:6-

"Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
... Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the LORD."

It's so very beautiful and talks about how much the Lord loves us. This verse has been on my heart a ton lately, just thinking about the burning desire He has for me.

I've also been thinking a lot about boy/girl relationships and dating. I am definitely not ready to be in the whole dating/courting/relationship thing, nor will I be for a long while. In fact, I won't be ready until God hits me over the head with it... and that will be a long time. See, I've got a long way to go, a lot of things to do. Being in love with Him first is the most important thing and thus living in His will.

Lately, with re-thinking society, I've realized that few people exist who will come alongside me and serve. One is my dearest roommate, one is quickly becoming a dearest friend. They both seek to change how society places value on human life. They both feel the drive to serve, the need to show others what kindness, compassion, and respect looks like.

And for them I am eternally grateful. Thank You God for answering prayer.

Stream of Consciousness.

I haven't done one of these blogs in a while. But they are good for getting thoughts down! See if you can follow.

I'm listening to mewithoutYou again. I really like Aaron Weiss. He's not autistic, so whichever one of you internet jerks started that rumor, you can take it right back. He's a stinkin' genius.

One of my friends says he (Aaron Weiss)'s not a Christian. I have never talked to Aaron, but this is the same friend who says that Catholics aren't saved... every Catholic I've met confesses with their mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in their heart that He is raised from the dead. But I guess that's not a Christian (kidding). Aaron has an amazing story of his realization to serve and love... for this I look up to him.

I strongly dislike people who believe they are always right. Especially when that person is a Christian but they constantly put down the beliefs of other Christians. Way to promote the idea of the Church. *slow, mean clap* Truth is, we don't know everything about God. Get off your high horse and love instead of condemn. Get back to the basics, don't argue the smaller stuff and thus push people away from the Truth.

I strongly dislike people who are persuasive. Especially if they're persuasive in a bad way. Let me make my own decisions, dang it, and stop trying to ruin other people's lives just because they're not living the exact same way you are.

I really love a lot of people. I love even the people who I dislike strongly, even when it's hard. Loving those who make you mad consistently is not fun, but it needs to be done. I know I'm not the best at this, but I'm working at it. Give me some time and a lot of do-overs please. I'm gonna need them.

Drama is one of my least favorite things in the whole wide world. I'm done with college, there shouldn't be any of that junk. I enjoy open, honest communication. I seek to hurt no one's feelings. I put my wants and needs aside to help as much as I can. Just let me do that, please? Don't get mad at me for dumb little things that have no meaning. Don't get mad at me for loving you as a friend. And for goodness sake, don't take everything I do as "Oh my goodness, this girl wants to date me." And girls, don't take it as "Oh my goodness, this girl tries too hard." Because, if I have to be honest with you, my friends mean a lot to me. I do go out of my way to talk to them and be around them and I will ask them a lot to hang out just so I can be a (hopefully encouraging) part of their world. After all, that's what I'm called to do. I'm a relational person, so are you. So stop trying to be cooler than encouragement, laughs, and pure, undefiled friendship.

Oh, and if a friend brings drama into a friendship, I'll smack it right to Mars and tell it never to come back. And drama listens to me... by goodness, yes it does. Just ask the high schoolers in our youth group at church.

I just want to sit down with Aaron Weiss and listen. Just listen. About anything and everything. And potentially nothing.

I say the word "goodness" a lot. Sorry.

I'm really happy God wrote the Bible. It could have potentially been really awful if He hadn't. And by really awful I mean intensely awful. I would have very little to read, since many of the books I read are based on things the Bible says.

Wouldn't it be cool to live like the early Church? Sharing everything with everyone? Knowing the Holy Spirit, having Church in homes, living in community with a ton of believers and sharing Him and His riches with everyone you know? Serving together? Loving each other?

Sometimes I think it's okay to live with an ideal in mind. You know, always making advances toward living in that ideal. I know I will never be able to live exactly like the early church, but I can try!

All of this talk has me looking at the Jesus People website. Again. Why I do this, I don't know. I so want to live down there with them... but I have a feeling that if I visit again, this time I won't leave. I won't want to leave.

I love living at my new house. I hate being here alone. It's so... lonely. Oh well!

Time to go clean. And listen to Bradley Hathaway and more mewithoutYou. And maybe some of The Wedding... although they cancelled their show here on Friday, so I'm not the happiest with them.

In other news, I am instead driving up to Fargo, ND on December 9th if the weather is good. I have to go see For Today because I haven't seen them since the end of August. I miss them, even though I don't get to hang out with them much when I see them. It will still be worth it.

I listen to too much mewithoutYou.

the eagle flies
and the rabbit cries
tries to find a place to rest.
But oh, the little pest!
He runs and flees
Eagle- please!
don't take,
for heaven's great sake!

yet he swoops and stirs
the rabbit amidst the burrs
he ran across the lake
knowing he was fake
took a final leap
into the great deep.
"Never will you have me!
Never will you see!"
down and down
drown and drown
so much for the rebel
so much for the rebel.

Creative Thinking.

This week I have been challenged in my faith so much. And it's been amazing.

It all started a few weeks ago, as I was reading "Under the Overpass". I realized that I had become lazy in service, lazy in my faith in a lot of ways. My time has been taken up by work, work, and more work (plus moving and learning to live in a community) and I wasn't okay with that. In fact, the day I finished the book I was compelled to go out and serve. I talked to someone who, in the past, I have considered my best friend. He ticked me off that day. He said that I was weird when I started talking about doing homeless ministry... what I inferred from him (whether it was true or not) was that homeless ministry was not something I should be doing. It ticks me off when people tell me what to do, even by not telling me what to do (but implying it). I don't do well with authority, especially from this person as of late.

The whole day I was just mad. Angry. And remained that way until Sunday night (over a week!).

I started reading "Starving Jesus" by Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon a few days ago and started really soaking in what they are saying. They talk about the Born Again Lazy in the book and I realized that a huge amount of time that I spend in my week is dedicated to these very people. Lukewarm Christians. People who believe the Word, proclaim the Word, but rather listen to a 40 minute sermon once a week than actually go out and do what the Word says. They rather just leave the book of James in the dust and focus inwardly. Right now, these are the people I am called to shake up. These are the people who need to recognize that they live in a world with widows and orphans and they are to do something to help these people (in addition to keeping their minds from being polluted by the world!). And by golly, if it takes the tears and the frustrations that have made my soul feel like a thousand ice storms, I'll do it.

In addition, I heard Shane Claiborne speak on Thursday night. He is one of my favorite authors and "Irresistible Revolution" really spoke into my life concerning community living and sharing with the Church. Hearing him speak did the same thing. God started taking my anger (even though I was still very angry that night) and reworking it to open my mind and my eyes to see what He's doing. Shane talked a lot about thinking creatively about the world. Since I am a Christian (although I do not act like it a lot of the time and for that I am sorry), I am different. Look at Jesus. Was He normal? Did He do anything normal according to anyone's standards? Even those closest to Him (His disciples) didn't understand Him (Peter for a long time thought He was to be their political messiah, and let's not even touch on Judas...) but they knew they were different as well. The truth is, we cannot be like the world. If we are friends of the world, if we become like the world and just blend in with society, we are enemies of God.

James 4:4
"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."

So what makes us different? How are we to be different? Well, we need to think creatively, look at injustice differently, practice mercy and most of all, show love... in every circumstance.

John 13:35
"By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another."

So I began to ponder as I continued through my week. I still ponder and try to put all of these thoughts that are still forming down in type. How can I, with so much of my time spent at work, be to the orphans and widows what God has called me to be? How can I clothe and feed those who spend their lives trying to survive all while trying to awaken the sleeping church? These thoughts are overwhelming.

James 1:27
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Matthew 25:37-40
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"

Revelation 3:16-17
"So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of My mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked."

Had I become the very person I never wanted to be? Had I forgotten what it was like to live out of the trunk of my car, having a place to sleep only because others invited me in? Am I wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked about God and faith? Am I not seeing the whole picture? AND HOW IN THE WORLD DO I BALANCE ALL OF THIS?!

The long, still drawing out answer started coming from God's mouth on Friday night as my roommate and I spent the evening with three awesome kids. At one point in the night, the oldest (in Kindergarten) pulled out a dilapidated folder from a backpack with one strap and more holes than zippers. As he read words like "the," "girl," and "cat" to me, I couldn't help but notice how amazingly bright this kid is. He wants to learn. He loves school. He absorbs all information put in his path, including how to react to others. He is a natural leader, more mature than almost any Kindergartener I know... and yet who knows how far he will be able to go all because of a stupid thing called money. So be creative... this is an injustice, something our world uses to show value. Then I'm called to show this Kindergartener that he is thee most valuable thing in the world and that our God loves Him- he is God's favorite!

Saturday came and I was again with kids in the morning, doing a service project to feed the hungry (or at least supply them with some tasty treats and some encouragement!). Bringing the city to the suburbs. Bringing the hurt into the comfort, the panic of living in poverty to the calm winter's day spent warm in a church basement. Only a few people came... but it's a start. It's God beginning to break the lukewarmness of the Church with two families who came and served. Two families who saw the need to show their kids what loving God, doing justice, and having faith truly means. They went out of their way to do it and I can only imagine that this is going to have a huge impact on the lives of these children. The truth is, these kids want to serve Jesus. They love helping others. But all too often we don't give them the raw materials to do so. Even though they're small, they're still the Church and seek to be the Church, more than many adults.

Matthew 18:2-5, 10
"He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me... See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."

I am supposed to teach these kids every Sunday- these kids who have such an incredible faith that I can't compare. I'm supposed to teach them. They teach me, all the time. Even the kids I am around outside of Sunday School constantly teach me. I am striving to be like them in their faith- to be like Jesus, no questions asked. If the Bible tells us to do it, let's do it! Why, because we love God, duh!

Yet here I am as an adult. Faith like an adult because, well, because I'm rational, darn it. Because the world tells me that I am supposed to doubt everything (with the exception of that feeling called love which is labeled "lust" in God's Word), question any rules and regulations put on me. I mean, I went to one of thee most liberal colleges in the state of Minnesota where we were all about protesting and making sure the government passes all the legislature that we see fit. We know what's right because, well... because we as adults do. That's why. But wait! Think creatively!

Sunday came. I went to church at the end of an ice storm. I learned at Sunday School from the Church made up of people 10 years or more younger than me. I went to a church service, where I couldn't focus, couldn't pray, couldn't mean any of the words coming out of my mouth, but could go through the motions.

From there I went to another church service. I had an overwhelming amount of anxiety (and still do as I think about this church service) about being there. God took it away with His Word and calmed the ice storm as I stood in His presence, blessed with the flame in Song of Solomon 8:6-

"Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the LORD."

The sermon was about being different, about being a counterculture as Christians. Funny, isn't it? God sometimes hits us over the head with things when He wants us to hear them.

The end of the service came. The anxiety arose and didn't leave as a friend sat me down to dinner. I wanted to puke, scream, pass out, run away... anything to get me away from that table. I did not want to listen to anything he was saying or anything God was saying to me. But Craig Gross says it best in "Starving Jesus"-

"J.R. and I have this thing about honesty. We believe the biggest problems with Christians isn't about filling the pews or worrying about the next big series campaign. Honesty- that's the church's number one struggle... Honesty has been replaced by our needs for fulfilled dreams, passions, and minute-to-minute wants."

If I can't practice honesty with a friend, then I can't practice it within the Church. If I can't let the fortress around me crumble even a little bit, how do I expect anything to change? If I can't let God tear my walls down, then my fruit will be bad fruit because I'm not relying fully on Him. I'm not trusting Him with myself, with my life... how do I expect Him to entrust me with the lives of others? How can I serve or show His love if I am putting Him into a tower in my fortress, telling Him to stay there? I can't, and I won't. And I guess that's the purpose of this whole blog.

Sure, I don't have it all figured out. I don't know how God is going to play out His Word in my life, but I know that I definitely cannot be angry about it... I mean, there's nothing to be angry about at all! But I also know that I can't just sit here and be lazy about doing His will.

"Go and make disciples, share clothing and food, help the widows and orphans, think creatively about justice, keep your mind from being polluted by the world, and shake the sleeping giant known as the Church... just trust Me to do it all with the broken body I have given you."

Funny Stories from the desk of a Children’s Minister

For the first time this year, I did not have to teach a Sunday School class for our small group time. I was STOKED. I mean, I love teaching, but I wanted to wander the classrooms, get a few pictures and see what the teachers needed help with in their classrooms. I reached one class and sat down to chat with the kids for a while. We started doing highs and lows, which is something we do every Sunday with our kids. “What’s one thing you liked about this week?” I asked, fully expecting to hear about birthday parties or fun outings with their parents. But one little girl chimed in and said, “I like the thing we did about the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” I was floored. After we signed the Bible verse together (which was the verse from two weeks prior), I was in awe at how many of these kids remembered it. It was one of those moments that reminded me that even if they don’t seem like they are fully understanding it, even when they moan and groan about having to be at Sunday School, they are getting the take home message. The Holy Spirit is working in their hearts and inspiring them daily. And they are SUCH a blessing to me.

One Sunday, we were talking about Peter’s miraculous escape from jail (found in Acts 12). As I was trying to figure out what to do for a lesson in our large group meeting time, I decided to simply tell them the story. After all, I have a TON of energy (and with kids around I have even more), so I figured I could probably make the story fun in some way or another.

As I started the story, I realized that this was a story I could potentially get all of the kids to act out with me. So we all became Peter. We fell asleep, we drowsily were walked out of prison by the angel, we showed up at the house the disciples were gathered at. It was so fun to watch and be a part of. I wish I had it on video to watch it again!

All of our offering money from Sunday School is going to an organization called Bring Me Hope. This amazing organization hosts Summer Camps for orphans in China every summer, bringing them out of the orphanages they reside in and giving them a week to be kids, have fun, play, and hang out with people who love and care about them. As we were preparing to meet one of the people who play an intricate part of this organization, I decided that one Sunday we would watch part of the documentary they made about a little girl named Hannah. One of the Sunday School families was spending a weekend at their cabin, but when the kids found out that we were watching part of the documentary that Sunday, they told their parents that they had to be in Sunday School that week. As a result, the whole family made the three hour drive back to church on Sunday morning.

My favorite part about this job is getting to know each and every kid. It’s kinda hard with over 100 kids signed up for Sunday School, but there are some kids who seek me out and try hard to have a friendship with me. With these kids I have become something of a celebrity... they get SUPER excited when they see me. One little boy in particular makes me smile every time. When he sees me in the morning, he gets a big smile on his face and his cute cheeks smoosh until you can hardly see his eyes. He never says much to me, besides giving me a hug and looking at me. I was able to co-teach in his classroom one Sunday and he just thought that was the greatest thing. For me, the greatest thing was actually talking with him that Sunday, hearing what he knew and understood about our story and getting to know him a little bit better.