Love.

Background story for those who don't know it:

I went to China for two weeks this summer with an organization called Bring Me Hope. Essentially what they do is lead summer camps for Chinese orphans. This is just a little reflection on my two weeks there.

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God’s love translates into all languages.

It translates perfectly, knowing no boundaries or hindrances because He is Love.

The five days flew by. No... sped by. No... they bounded by completely unbridled. One of the Chinese staff and I were talking last night about writing. “I try and capture life with my words, but my vocabulary is so limited that I can’t.” I can’t either, sadly, and this is what I studied years of my life to achieve. But to capture this experience (and I mean TRULY capture it) with words is impossible. I can’t even tell you how fast the week went by, much less tell you about the rest of the week.

It’s semi-frustrating not knowing the language you are surrounded with almost every minute of every day. I wish I could talk with the kids, I wish I could listen to them and their stories firsthand. Don’t get me wrong, for the past week I have had an amazing translator. But the way I communicate with kids at home, the way we teach each other has a lot to do with the fact that we are able to talk with each other. I think of Vacation Bible School just last week. I was able to talk about God with the kids so openly and freely, sharing the one thing that binds us all together in this lattice or spiderweb or the basis for this cosmic connection, if you will. It is God who created us, sustains us, and brings us together every moment of every day. Even with your worst enemy you have this connection of being made in the image of God and alive through the grace and love of the same Being. But that is beside the point. The point is

...

It was over a month ago that I wrote those words while sitting on the new semi-wood floor of the dorms at the university. I’ve had a month of being back in the States, my head not really screwed on tightly and a huge piece of my heart still with my orphan kids. Thirty days to reflect and figure out what the point is.

Love.

That’s it.

Love brought the Bolts to China.

Love created Bring Me Hope.

Love brings all of us hope.

It’s Love that keeps the organization running and growing; Love that makes every day and every week of Bring Me Hope camp happen. It’s Love that causes people to travel 10,000 miles to be with a kid. Love doesn’t just sit around and do nothing- Love ACTS. Love causes us to play games of basketball in 90 degree weather with 80% humidity. Love leads us to cuddle, sing, and pray four Chinese orphans to sleep when we feel completely exhausted. Love doesn’t just ask you to sit back and watch the world unfold around you. No, Love demands that you run straight to the heart of the world and unfold it yourself. Love may not be glamorous and it may not be easy. It can break your heart. But man, lemme tell ya- it’s life changing.

You see, Love came down and showed us exactly how unglamorous it can be. Love lived a perfect life and healed a lot of people. Love never hurt anyone but only came to bring hope, to seek and to save the lost. But Love was betrayed by His friends. Love was crucified on a cross and killed by those who were supposed to love Him. It was Love who took on everything icky we had ever done and would ever do. It was Love who paid the price, Love Who conquered the devil, and Love Who rose again to bring us even more hope.

When we accept Love, we accept His life. We put on His robes, we carry the cross. It’s not glamorous... a lot of the time it’s sweaty, frustrating work. It’s having an orphan in your arms, screaming at you for a solid 30 minutes. But Love knows know bounds! Not even death can hold it back.

So who are we to hold it back? Take a chance. Hug an orphan. Pursue Love (1 Corinthians 14:1).

Dreams, of the sleepingly visual kind.

I believe in prophecy because the Bible says it's real. I believe some people are given the gift of prophecy. I don't believe that God has a word for every person at every moment through every prophet, but that God does use them when He wants to hit us over the head with something. I've only been prophesied over three times, but each time was absolutely incredible and I thank God for giving me His Word through them. The last time probably hit home the hardest and is something I still very much struggle with. That was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced and it left me completely stunned. But that's a different story for a different time.

I know I am not a prophet and that God has not given me that gift. However, at times He does give me dreams that turn out to be prophetic. Here are some examples:

- Last spring, I had a dream that my friend Seth came up to me and told me that he was going to marry the girl in the purple dress. I look over and there is my friend Reese. I had no clue there was anything other than friendship between them. Little did I know that at that time they were praying over marriage. They will be married April 23rd.

- In summer of 2009, God gave me the dream of a prayer and worship conference at the college I attended. In November of 2009, that dream became a reality.

- Yesterday, I had two dreams about my friend Greg. My friend Pamela asked for these dreams in detail, so here's the whole thing, in detail. Sorry if I bore you.

Both dreams happen in the same type of room. Some hotels are structured so that when you walk out of your room, you can look down to the main rotunda. In this dream, we were in a hospital that did this. The walls were red, and Greg's room was in the top corner of this place. In the first dream, I went into his room and yelled at him, with authority. "Greg, WAKE UP!" I said. And he did. Smiling, he rose out of his bed and told me he had to go to the bathroom. I tried to stop him, telling him to go back to the bed and getting in the way of the bathroom door. I yelled for Jennie while being scared, excited, happy... everything at the same time.

The second dream happened in the same place. Greg woke up and suddenly we were all being told to take a picture together. Someone from a level below was going to take it, so we all stood on the bottom rail near our feet and bent over the top rail. As we kept moving down the rail to get the place right, I was placed right in between Greg and James. I was nervous and excited all at the same time and reached for James's hand, knowing that it would be some kind of comfort. He grudgingly gave it to me, but as soon as I could see he didn't want to, I dropped his hand and instead focused on Greg. He was so smiley and so excited, it was easy to forget about the guy on the other side of me.

That's it. Both of them held a healed but still in the hospital Greg Jager.

Today, Greg woke up. Although he's not able to walk, talk, or really smile as big as he did in my dreams, I know that God is healing him. I can't wait to listen to his voice again and hear his stories about this time! God has given this man an amazing story that is just waiting to be heard. Soon, Greg, soon. And it will be on paper.

I think we all have amazing stories that need to be heard. Every experience in our lives shapes us into who we are. If we want people to truly understand us, perhaps our story is a good place to start. Who are you? What is your story?

New things.

My friend Greg is in the hospital. He's really in need of prayer, so please pray for him. I know that God is a God who does miracles. I know that God loves Greg. And most of all, I know God will let His glory show through Greg and already has in a lot of ways. Here's the link to his Caring Bridge site for the latest info!

I can't wait until Greg gets to go home. It's gonna be awesome! So soon, I just know it. Nevaeh (his daughter) is gonna be so stoked to see him!

In other news:

I ran into a street sign this morning. My Buick won and just has another dent. The street sign, on the other hand, didn't fare so well.

I have an amazing boyfriend. We've only been dating a month, but I'm a little taken with him. He's a writer *swoon*. And adorable *double swoon*.

Other than that, just trying to keep my head above water and live every day for Him. Even when everything seems to be getting you down, grabbing His hand and getting into His Word is the only way to go.

Day 13: Introspection Starts.

In an effort to pretend like the last week didn't happen, I am starting at day 13. Judge me how you like, I don't care.

The last night Gramma was still able to respond a fairly good amount, my cousin, mom, and I had a sleepover and watched "Luther" on the television right next to her bed. She didn't have her hearing aids in, but we kept it pretty low anyway. At one point, she was ruttin' around so I went over to help her move a little bit and see if she needed anything.

If you don't know, the movie "Luther" is about Martin Luther (yes, I do work at a Lutheran church). We were at the point in the movie where the catholic cardinals were arguing about whether they should react to Luther or just let it fizzle out by itself. My Gramma somehow heard this and says, in her tired state, "What are they crabbing about?" I don't know if I laughed harder that day than at that time... silly Gramma.

Day: Days, days, and days... that feel like weeks.

"Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You will receive me to Your glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

-Psalm 73:23-26

(This photo was taken a week ago. Today, Gramma Rose is dancing with Jesus and the angels.)

Days 11 and 12: Pink.

This is my niece. She is adorable and since she is a girl, she has to wear a lot of pink. So instead of buying her more pink, I bought two uni-sex fleece sweatshirts for her. In our family, we appreciate all pigments in the color wheel.

Day 10: Wipers.

A few weeks ago, I had a morning off of work (due to a bout of sickness the weekend prior) so I decided to take the advice of my roommate and get new windshield wipers. I'm not going to lie- it's been a few years since I bought new wipers. I mean, I THOUGHT they were alright. They left a huge streak in the middle of the driver's side (about 1/4 of the window wide) and the other one usually didn't really take any of the dirt off, but I was getting by with them.

I took it to the auto parts store and the guy I bought them from installed them for me too. Awesome! The first time I used them it was like butter... it took the dirt off so easily. I loved it.

The whole thing reminded me of Matthew 7:1-5 -

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Day 9: God's little reminders.

My friend in Sunday School made this for me. It made me feel so loved, I can't even tell you. I'm putting it up in my room!

Last Sunday, Sunday School absolutely blew up in my face. Everything that could go wrong DID go wrong and I didn't use my God-given discernment. After that, I didn't go to worship at my church and instead ran to my Gramma's house... a place of solace and rest. After hanging out with her and my aunt and uncle, I had some peace and decided to go to church later that day at New Wine (definitely a good choice!). God had words for me there... and I'm still chewing on them.

This week, with getting more into the Word, God gave me a good idea for Sunday School. And it was SOOOOO fun!! And the kids learned a ton, which I am happy about! Now I just need to call a few more volunteers into service and we should be good to go for the rest of the spring! Praise God!

Day 8: My lapse back into photography.

A photo from Carrie and Andy's engagement shoot which I did today with the help of my awesome roommate, Jenny.

I always say I'm gonna be done with it, that I'm not going to make it into a business. And then wedding season comes around and I always end up doing it again. Why, you ask? Because I ENJOY IT. It's my art, my passion. It mixes my favorite subject (people) with my second favorite muse (emotion). My favorite things to shoot are weddings- the happiness you see in people is found first in marriage, second in the birth of children. Since I don't really want to take pictures of babies being birthed (yeah, uhhhhh, that sounds awful), I think I'll stick with weddings.

I was able to do another engagement shoot in September and the bride-to-be asked me today if I would shoot her wedding. I was ECSTATIC. They are a very fun couple and I can't wait to take photos of their big day! My cousin, Luke, is also getting married this summer and his bride-to-be asked me to be the second photographer for the day. Score! I get to do candids all day, which are by far my favorite part of shooting a wedding. Capturing raw emotion. I think my friend Vicci asked me to shoot her wedding at the end of July... I think she was serious! I sure hope so, because I really want to do it. This one's in another state and I haven't travelled to shoot a wedding since Mattie and Candice's wedding in January of 2009 (which was in Alabama... and WARM. So perfect). Needless to say, I'm excited at the possibility of traveling to shoot a wedding again and perhaps getting my favorite road tripper involved in it with me (Nicole, did you really think I wouldn't ask you?).

Jenny's friend is letting us do maternity portraits for her in February. I'm so excited, I've never been able to be a part of a maternity shoot before! Secretly I've always wanted to do one... not the cheesy ones with the paint on the belly, just one that uses lighting and makes having a baby look elegant.

Woo-hoo!! I like photography!!

Days 6 and 7: Pets and Head Lice.

This is my buddy Lenny. I was with him the day his family brought him home, and he still sleeps on the bed next to me when I dogsit him. He doesn't do that to his owner, just to me. What a sweetheart.

I really like animals. They just calm me and most of them show an intense amount of affection, which I like. Think of how much more affection God has for me! Thanks God, for that. And for hugs when I'm down and cheers when we're experiencing the happiness that bubbles out of the pure joy You placed inside my heart.

Head lice has been going around recently at the local schools. I babysat for my nanny family tonight since they had an event at the 8year-old's school cancelled due to head lice. Crazy that they cancel things because of it!

So I was putting the 4.5 year-old to bed tonight and we were doing our "Thank You, God"s before we did our "Help us, God"s and he said, "Thank you for my babysitter." It made me smile really big.

Then I was putting the 8 year-old to bed and she said the same thing during her "Thank You, God"s. And then we thanked Him for His Word and being able to read really well.

I think that's my favorite thing about putting the kids to bed... having a three-way conversation with God. It's so fun! I can't wait for the day I can do that with my own children and I pray that God will bless me with one or two adopted kids, even if His plan doesn't include a husband. Is it sad that I wouldn't mind having a husband just so I can adopt kids?

Day 5: Confirmation Verse.

That's my Gramma Rose. It was her 25th birthday the other day (okay, so it actually wasn't her 25th, but I swear sometimes that she's that young!) so I took a picture on my phone of her blowing out her candles. She's so beautiful... this blurry photo doesn't do her justice. Perhaps, after all is done, I shall post my favorite photo of her. She's so embarrassed by it but I think it's so adorable that it doesn't even matter.

Today my aunts and my mom were working on some stuff for Gramma and asked what her confirmation verse was. We started looking through the bulletin from her confirmation service and we found a verse that she believes is her confirmation verse.

2 Corinthians 5:15-

"And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again."

In the midst of it all, I realize that I still live and live for Him. It's all I can do.

Day 4: "Just tape your eyelids open."

I only have one cat. Her name is Maisey Mae and I love her a lot. She loves me sometimes too, even though she harbored some anger towards me after gently reminded her tonight that she is not allowed to sit on my roommate's pillow.

There are two well-known facts about me.

1. I rather be out actually getting work done or doing something rather than sitting in a meeting. Meetings bug me.

2. I don't like talking to adults. I will never be one and I rather never talk to them or be in large groups of them.

Today I had to do both. During two separate occasions today. God was with me and we chatted for a bit during the second one, so it was okay.

Day 3: Underwear and Snow.

This is a normal day at work. "Underwear Tornado" is what this is called, and yes, we did turn it on and almost busted a gut at the outcome.

So much running through my head right now. God, calm it.

Snow is an interesting thing. Each snowflake is unique, yet lands amidst millions of snowflakes to make them just snow. Some of the more unlucky snowflakes end up in the road, getting caught up in the wheel-well of some gas guzzler. Their uniqueness and beauty fade as dirt and grime work their way into the intricate design.

I watched as a community of contaminated snowflakes fell from their carrier like a parasite. I watched as a few cars narrowly missed the soft rock-looking structure. Then, in front of my eyes... a wheel flung the community far away from each other, pulverizing some into the ground and forcing them into becoming dirt. Others were spared for a short time but had little chance of ever being made beautiful again... that is, until the plow came and mixed their grime and dirt with the beautiful, white community of snowflakes. Somehow, the mix was still beautiful. The unblemished snowflakes took on the grime and filth and made the contaminated snowflakes a little lighter. More snow fell and completely covered the dirt, making the community whole and fully beautiful again.

A picture of the Church and the Holy Spirit? Perhaps. But maybe it is just a story about snowflakes.

Day 2: Hoodies cure bad days.

When I feel threatened or disliked, I put my hood up and pretend it's not happening. Something about extra warmth around my head makes me feel better.

So do roommates. And being home.

Day 1: Chillin' with tons to do.

Instead of having a social life and actually finding a husband like 70% of the people I know want me to, I rather just hang out with those people I love most... kids. Last night I spent the evening at my sister's house with her family (and new baby!) and tonight I'm at my boss's house, watching his 18 month old. He's my buddy.

After the kid went to sleep, the dog and I decided to watch SVU and cuddle. My Saturday nights are bomb.

Puke.

I have always wanted to label a blog post that.

Okay, that's a lie. I just named it that.

Anyway, I have thee most sour stomach on the face of the earth. It's super touchy and yesterday just proved it. Apparently you can't put a ton of stuff into your body and hope it turns out alright... because most of the time it doesn't. You get the picture.

So I'm still feeling under the weather, but God is using me despite my obvious lack of physical strength. I love it when He does this. A measure of strength beyond belief. PRAISE HIM!