My thoughts

Oh how I long to be like David! How I long to hear God's voice, audibly telling me what to do. I would no longer have any qualms about where He is or Who He is or what He wants me to do... I would be so fully and utterly consumed by Him and His will and HIS VOICE that all else would fall by the wayside.

But wait... what's that large-ish book sitting in my room? Oh yeah, The Holy Bible. Or in my case, The Lutheran Study Bible. Whatever version you have, whatever the publisher wanted to call it, it remains the same thing...

GOD'S WORD.

HIS VOICE.

Open it up, let Him talk to you. Read what He has to say to you today. Let the law and the Gospel be written on your heart and on your arm and on your forehead.

Hrm.

How to say the words I don't want to say. How to describe the ideas in my head.

Maybe I just won't.

Spiders

I am afraid of spiders. I don't like them at all. When one is in the room, I am so scared of it that usually I can't even kill it. I can't approach it at all. If it comes near me I scoot around it, giving it it's room. I know of it's existence but I don't want anything to do with it.

I think that's how I am with relationships- any kind of relationship. I know they exist, but anything more than face value scares the crap out of me. If a friend approaches my comfort zone, I put up a wall. I can't even get close to people because I'm afraid of who they may find me to be.

It's the same with every person, minus one. My friendship with this person FREAKS ME OUT but living without it right now isn't an option. I'm absolutely terrified and I have no clue why I tell this person the things I do, especially when there seems to be little vulnerability back at times (I attribute this to crazy schedules and lack of time to actually have a conversation). I know I have made the biggest mistakes in my relationship with this person out of fear, but I pray now that our relationship will be a healthy one, centered around Christ, constantly pushing each other toward Him.

And I pray that all my relationships will be that way, but we'll take baby steps for now.

Adulthood.

Adulthood means you have to pay bills. Which means you have to work. Which means you have to hold some type of a job. Which means you have to have some responsibility.

Basically, adulthood is like the book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie".

Truth.

Tired. SO TIRED.

Some days I am just exhausted... and then I realize I have to get up for work in the a.m. Does that ever happen to you? No good.