Spiders

I am afraid of spiders. I don't like them at all. When one is in the room, I am so scared of it that usually I can't even kill it. I can't approach it at all. If it comes near me I scoot around it, giving it it's room. I know of it's existence but I don't want anything to do with it.

I think that's how I am with relationships- any kind of relationship. I know they exist, but anything more than face value scares the crap out of me. If a friend approaches my comfort zone, I put up a wall. I can't even get close to people because I'm afraid of who they may find me to be.

It's the same with every person, minus one. My friendship with this person FREAKS ME OUT but living without it right now isn't an option. I'm absolutely terrified and I have no clue why I tell this person the things I do, especially when there seems to be little vulnerability back at times (I attribute this to crazy schedules and lack of time to actually have a conversation). I know I have made the biggest mistakes in my relationship with this person out of fear, but I pray now that our relationship will be a healthy one, centered around Christ, constantly pushing each other toward Him.

And I pray that all my relationships will be that way, but we'll take baby steps for now.