I hate doing résumés. Mine is taking forever. How much stuff do I put on? How many of these volunteer opportunities do I list? Should I use more adjectives? Do I really need to sell myself? I mean, can't we just talk it out? You'll like me better if you meet me, dear future employer.
Objective: To make a difference, even at my job.
I officially love my sister for sending me an amazing website with non-profit job opportunities in the Twin Cities. I'm applying for a lot of them and am very excited to do so. So many of them sound just perfect for me that I only hope that I will be hired.
Goodbye American dream, hello outreach and living life to the fullest.
I can't wait to be done with school!
I was talking to my friend James on the phone the other night- I can't believe how much I miss him. If I were to tell him that, he would laugh in my face and say, in his stinkin' rebellious way, "Well, I wish I could say that I miss you too, but I don't." He's such a turd nugget. No other words for him. But there is something about this dear brother (best big brother in the world!) that makes me want to maintain a friendship with him. For as often as I am ticked at him because he speaks his mind, he speaks his mind in love. Sure, it may not always come off as the most gentle but that's not how he works. And for someone like me, I need to hear truth spoken over me in this way or else I will not listen. And yes, from time to time after I'm done being angry at him I do tell him that he is right. Admitting someone else is right and you were wrong is hard to do; admitting James is right and you were wrong is even HARDER to do.
Truth is, I miss all of those friends from that area. It's Amanda's birthday today and I really wish I could just be with her. Instead I'll be making her birthday present to give her this weekend. I love that little group of friends so much it may be considered slightly insane but it's true nonetheless.
Off to do homework, work on Manda's present, bug James, take photos, eat potatoes, read, and write. Should be a good day!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
My Weekend (er, the weekend of Sept. 4-7).
Even on the gloomy days, I am alive. I feel the blood coursing through my veins, my fingers working diligently to get everything running through my brain onto paper. But this will not be a typical post from Jenessa, nay, this will be about my weekend.
I went to a small private Lutheran elementary school for my elementary and junior high years of my education. Here I had the same instructor for the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades. He made us journal on a regular basis about various subjects. His favorite topic was "My Weekend" in which we would divulge those experiences that procured over the weekend. Sometimes I was a snot, telling about the hours I sat at home, doing nothing (complete falsehood- I was always making up stories with my Barbies that I played with on a daily basis until the eighth grade); others journal entries in my blue notebook were filled with action packed stories about weekend camping expeditions with my family. Where the notebooks from these three years ever ran off too I'm not exactly sure. I'm hoping that my mother saved them in the large rubbermaid containers in which she stores our childhood works of art, but I can only hope that this is the case.
Thus this is the subject of my post and a fitting one at that.
Last weekend was the best I had in a long time. The only thing that may have been able to top it would be my weekend at Cornerstone Festival in Bushnell, IL this past July.
Thursday morning started with a very confused Jenessa. I wanted to go to Generation Revival (3 hours away), I wanted to go to the bonfire IVCF was putting on (3 minutes away) but I also really wanted to go to Lifelight Music Festival (3.5 hours away). I vowed not to go to Lifelight unless one of my friends was attending as well. As no one from UMM had any interest in going, I buckled down for a weekend in Mo-town. Thursday morning I receive a text from my friend Melody, a resident of North Sioux City, South Dakota. Off of a hunch, I asked her what she was up to this weekend and to my delight she had decided to go to Lifelight with a few members of her family (who, may I add, are AMAZING!). I had not seen Melody since, oh, last December and really wanted to spend time with such a dear sister in Christ. Not to mention that The Wedding was performing that night, but that's a different discussion for a different day. Needless to say, the three point five hours driving down were filled with keeping myself from boredom while driving. To do this I simply pretended that I was Matt Shelton (lead singer of The Wedding). You can imagine the hilarity that ensued and the innumerable amount of times I was able to laugh at myself.
I did get to see The Wedding at Lifelight. Here's one of the guitarists, Trevor. I also have one of him licking his guitar. GROSS.
Finally I reached Lifelight around 6 p.m. on Friday night. The rest of that night was filled with tons of hugs and great discussion on the ride back to North Sioux for some sleep. Melody is definitely a woman after God's own heart. God has given her a passion for the hurting and broken; He is also definitely stirring up within her a ministry to the poor. It's so beautiful to see someone who realizes what can be done in her own community... ah, just so good.
My favorite part of Lifelight had to be Saturday morning at Melody's house- it was... magical? I don't know how to describe it. Her family is incredible and talking with her mom for a while was the best thing to have happened in a while. We chatted about everything- my family, faith, her family, Catholicism- it was great. Her mom was so open to everything and intensely loving that I couldn't help but talk to her. Plus playing with Melody's two nieces was more than a treat as I don't get to see kids much up here at school. I honestly felt at home within the walls of her house and hope that I can go back soon to see everyone.
Melody and I right before Thousand Foot Krutch. We're so rad.
Saturday came and went, saw some shows and was able to talk to Silent Substitute about their recent trip to China. The Lord used them so much while they were over there- it was incredible. Definitely a growing experience for all of them and a way to show kids the light of Christ in a nation where that is illegal. Please pray for the people in China affected by this (everyone) and pray that God's light will be shown amidst the darkness. Pray for strength, guidance, wisdom, and protection for those spreading the message of Jesus.
Thus, Saturday was finished with a long drive back to Morris far too early in the morning. Silent Substitute plus frappucino was my equation to keep me awake and it worked for the last 45 minutes of my trip. A shout out to James and Micah (who fell asleep on the other side of the phone while trying to keep me awake, but I won't hold it against him) for keeping me awake for a while on the drive back. Thanks guys, you are the best.
9:00 a.m. the next morning came way too early. But I got up, showered, and headed to the Minnesota State Fair with my two roommates. We sat a lot, saw a lot of stuff, ate some (but I had a stomach ache all day- dumb thing to have at the fair!) and hoarded the free goods we came across (including a tree- my favorite give-away!). Thus my Sunday was spent, with good friends at Minnesota's largest get-together.
Yup, that's me and the roomies!
Alleluia for a Monday off. A day to recuperate from my travels all over the midwest.
Just kidding.
When do I ever rest or give myself a day off? I'm always doing something, which is how it should be. Pretty sure laziness is a devil-inspired attribute. I think there's a verse in Proverbs that starts "Go to the ants, you sluggard..." and continues to talk about how hard they work. Thus I strive to model myself after ants, minus living in the dirt and having three segments make up my body.
So Monday comes, I wake up after sleeping for 12 hours (yes, you read that right, 12 hours!) and call my friend Dave back. He asks if I want to head out to Glacial Lakes State Park and go hiking for the day. Of course I say yes, pack my bag, and head out. The rest of the day was filled with tons of laughs, four pictures being taken (I actually did get him to whip out his camera!), some violence (tree branches snapped in my face, pushing each other off the trail or attempts to push him off the dock) and dinner at a small café in Benson. The perfect way to spend an absolutely glorious day. And I now have a new friend that Dave gave me, his name is What the Duck and he's adorable. See? He's going to be my friend and come along on many photo excursions.
Back to Morris, back to school, back to homework. Upcoming weekends boast of many fun times to come but we'll see if it can outdo last weekend. Unlikely dear friends, unlikely.
I went to a small private Lutheran elementary school for my elementary and junior high years of my education. Here I had the same instructor for the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades. He made us journal on a regular basis about various subjects. His favorite topic was "My Weekend" in which we would divulge those experiences that procured over the weekend. Sometimes I was a snot, telling about the hours I sat at home, doing nothing (complete falsehood- I was always making up stories with my Barbies that I played with on a daily basis until the eighth grade); others journal entries in my blue notebook were filled with action packed stories about weekend camping expeditions with my family. Where the notebooks from these three years ever ran off too I'm not exactly sure. I'm hoping that my mother saved them in the large rubbermaid containers in which she stores our childhood works of art, but I can only hope that this is the case.
Thus this is the subject of my post and a fitting one at that.
Last weekend was the best I had in a long time. The only thing that may have been able to top it would be my weekend at Cornerstone Festival in Bushnell, IL this past July.
Thursday morning started with a very confused Jenessa. I wanted to go to Generation Revival (3 hours away), I wanted to go to the bonfire IVCF was putting on (3 minutes away) but I also really wanted to go to Lifelight Music Festival (3.5 hours away). I vowed not to go to Lifelight unless one of my friends was attending as well. As no one from UMM had any interest in going, I buckled down for a weekend in Mo-town. Thursday morning I receive a text from my friend Melody, a resident of North Sioux City, South Dakota. Off of a hunch, I asked her what she was up to this weekend and to my delight she had decided to go to Lifelight with a few members of her family (who, may I add, are AMAZING!). I had not seen Melody since, oh, last December and really wanted to spend time with such a dear sister in Christ. Not to mention that The Wedding was performing that night, but that's a different discussion for a different day. Needless to say, the three point five hours driving down were filled with keeping myself from boredom while driving. To do this I simply pretended that I was Matt Shelton (lead singer of The Wedding). You can imagine the hilarity that ensued and the innumerable amount of times I was able to laugh at myself.
I did get to see The Wedding at Lifelight. Here's one of the guitarists, Trevor. I also have one of him licking his guitar. GROSS.
Finally I reached Lifelight around 6 p.m. on Friday night. The rest of that night was filled with tons of hugs and great discussion on the ride back to North Sioux for some sleep. Melody is definitely a woman after God's own heart. God has given her a passion for the hurting and broken; He is also definitely stirring up within her a ministry to the poor. It's so beautiful to see someone who realizes what can be done in her own community... ah, just so good.
My favorite part of Lifelight had to be Saturday morning at Melody's house- it was... magical? I don't know how to describe it. Her family is incredible and talking with her mom for a while was the best thing to have happened in a while. We chatted about everything- my family, faith, her family, Catholicism- it was great. Her mom was so open to everything and intensely loving that I couldn't help but talk to her. Plus playing with Melody's two nieces was more than a treat as I don't get to see kids much up here at school. I honestly felt at home within the walls of her house and hope that I can go back soon to see everyone.
Melody and I right before Thousand Foot Krutch. We're so rad.
Saturday came and went, saw some shows and was able to talk to Silent Substitute about their recent trip to China. The Lord used them so much while they were over there- it was incredible. Definitely a growing experience for all of them and a way to show kids the light of Christ in a nation where that is illegal. Please pray for the people in China affected by this (everyone) and pray that God's light will be shown amidst the darkness. Pray for strength, guidance, wisdom, and protection for those spreading the message of Jesus.
Thus, Saturday was finished with a long drive back to Morris far too early in the morning. Silent Substitute plus frappucino was my equation to keep me awake and it worked for the last 45 minutes of my trip. A shout out to James and Micah (who fell asleep on the other side of the phone while trying to keep me awake, but I won't hold it against him) for keeping me awake for a while on the drive back. Thanks guys, you are the best.
9:00 a.m. the next morning came way too early. But I got up, showered, and headed to the Minnesota State Fair with my two roommates. We sat a lot, saw a lot of stuff, ate some (but I had a stomach ache all day- dumb thing to have at the fair!) and hoarded the free goods we came across (including a tree- my favorite give-away!). Thus my Sunday was spent, with good friends at Minnesota's largest get-together.
Yup, that's me and the roomies!
Alleluia for a Monday off. A day to recuperate from my travels all over the midwest.
Just kidding.
When do I ever rest or give myself a day off? I'm always doing something, which is how it should be. Pretty sure laziness is a devil-inspired attribute. I think there's a verse in Proverbs that starts "Go to the ants, you sluggard..." and continues to talk about how hard they work. Thus I strive to model myself after ants, minus living in the dirt and having three segments make up my body.
So Monday comes, I wake up after sleeping for 12 hours (yes, you read that right, 12 hours!) and call my friend Dave back. He asks if I want to head out to Glacial Lakes State Park and go hiking for the day. Of course I say yes, pack my bag, and head out. The rest of the day was filled with tons of laughs, four pictures being taken (I actually did get him to whip out his camera!), some violence (tree branches snapped in my face, pushing each other off the trail or attempts to push him off the dock) and dinner at a small café in Benson. The perfect way to spend an absolutely glorious day. And I now have a new friend that Dave gave me, his name is What the Duck and he's adorable. See? He's going to be my friend and come along on many photo excursions.
Back to Morris, back to school, back to homework. Upcoming weekends boast of many fun times to come but we'll see if it can outdo last weekend. Unlikely dear friends, unlikely.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Worship, revisited.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God– this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is– his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:1-2
My Bible is all full of footnotes, which is awesome. The note for the phrase "spiritual act" says, "not merely ritual activity but the involvement of heart, mind and will." I'm completely blown by this. For a large majority of my life, ritual activity has run rampant. My life has been filled with it. In grade school and high school (even when my parents didn't go to church), I found myself sitting in the pew, going through the motions, playing bass for worship, or running the soundboard. I helped with everything I could at church because the Bible told me to. It was just what I did. I found little joy in it, except when someone noticed and told me "good job." But this was not how life was supposed to be. Jesus says in John 5:41-44, "'I do not accept praise from men, but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?'"
So what does it mean to offer ourselves as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God? How can we do this spiritual act, an act that is not merely a ritual activity but the involvement of heart, mind, and will? How can we worship God in this way?
I was at a point in my life unlike any other I had been at before. I know that "the eyes of the Lord wander the earth looking for those whose hearts are fully committed to Him" (2 Chronicles 16:9) and He calls us to worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:24). I know this, but what does it look like? How can I do this? I know it means more than playing bass on Sundays, going to church, helping everywhere I can to get praise from people. I know that does not fill me with the Spirit of God and whatever passion I had for it would soon die out. But worshipping in spirit and in truth, giving your body as a living sacrifice, having a transformed mind, knowing God's will for me, that would be amazing. I would have a passion that I have never felt before- a passion for the One that loves me more than anything or anyone ever could. I knew that I wanted this, I wanted to worship, I wanted more than just the rituals and the routine.
It was at this point that God brought me to Generation Revival and I saw worship and a people hungry for God like I have never seen before. It made me uncomfortable. It made me want to run out of the church, yelling that no true Christians would ever have a part in something like that. People were singing their own songs, songs coming from their hearts instead of words on a projector screen. People were crying out to God, admitting their faults, calling down God's glory. Others were dancing. Some were speaking in tongues. Others were prostrate on the ground. It honestly was pretty intimidating for a girl who grew up strictly Lutheran. We hardly raise our hands in church and only call God's glory down through the words of contemporary Christian music. Yet I stayed in the church, I listened to what was said, I prayed in ways that I never had before. The Spirit moved and told me "Come, I want to have an intimate relationship with you."
So back to worship. What is it? How can we be true worshippers?
1. Prayer. Talking with (not just TO) our Heavenly Father. He longs to hear from us, to pour His love into our hearts, to heal us (Matthew 11:28-30). He can reveal so much through prayer- we can so touch His heart and learn so much from being in communication with Him through prayer! But don't expect His voice to always come in thunder, but maybe it will come as a whisper (1 Kings 19:11-12). Be so close to Him through prayer that you will never miss that whisper.
2. Getting into His Word, seeking to know His heart. Learn all you can about Him. Be a person, like David, who was after God's own heart. If we do not know Him, He will cast us from His side (Matthew 7:21-23).
3. Surrender, give Him control. Of EVERYTHING in your life. Daily die to sin that you may live with Him (1 Peter 2:24!
4. Sing. Cry out to God. Pray. Allow Him to move and His spirit to fill you totally and completely as you worship in His presence and glory. "Where two or more people are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them," (Matthew 18:20).
Just looking at these four seems overwhelming, but with God at the center of our lives, our heart, mind, and will are all employed to worship Him with our everything.
May God bless you as you seek His heart and worship Him in spirit and in truth!
My Bible is all full of footnotes, which is awesome. The note for the phrase "spiritual act" says, "not merely ritual activity but the involvement of heart, mind and will." I'm completely blown by this. For a large majority of my life, ritual activity has run rampant. My life has been filled with it. In grade school and high school (even when my parents didn't go to church), I found myself sitting in the pew, going through the motions, playing bass for worship, or running the soundboard. I helped with everything I could at church because the Bible told me to. It was just what I did. I found little joy in it, except when someone noticed and told me "good job." But this was not how life was supposed to be. Jesus says in John 5:41-44, "'I do not accept praise from men, but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?'"
So what does it mean to offer ourselves as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God? How can we do this spiritual act, an act that is not merely a ritual activity but the involvement of heart, mind, and will? How can we worship God in this way?
I was at a point in my life unlike any other I had been at before. I know that "the eyes of the Lord wander the earth looking for those whose hearts are fully committed to Him" (2 Chronicles 16:9) and He calls us to worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:24). I know this, but what does it look like? How can I do this? I know it means more than playing bass on Sundays, going to church, helping everywhere I can to get praise from people. I know that does not fill me with the Spirit of God and whatever passion I had for it would soon die out. But worshipping in spirit and in truth, giving your body as a living sacrifice, having a transformed mind, knowing God's will for me, that would be amazing. I would have a passion that I have never felt before- a passion for the One that loves me more than anything or anyone ever could. I knew that I wanted this, I wanted to worship, I wanted more than just the rituals and the routine.
It was at this point that God brought me to Generation Revival and I saw worship and a people hungry for God like I have never seen before. It made me uncomfortable. It made me want to run out of the church, yelling that no true Christians would ever have a part in something like that. People were singing their own songs, songs coming from their hearts instead of words on a projector screen. People were crying out to God, admitting their faults, calling down God's glory. Others were dancing. Some were speaking in tongues. Others were prostrate on the ground. It honestly was pretty intimidating for a girl who grew up strictly Lutheran. We hardly raise our hands in church and only call God's glory down through the words of contemporary Christian music. Yet I stayed in the church, I listened to what was said, I prayed in ways that I never had before. The Spirit moved and told me "Come, I want to have an intimate relationship with you."
So back to worship. What is it? How can we be true worshippers?
1. Prayer. Talking with (not just TO) our Heavenly Father. He longs to hear from us, to pour His love into our hearts, to heal us (Matthew 11:28-30). He can reveal so much through prayer- we can so touch His heart and learn so much from being in communication with Him through prayer! But don't expect His voice to always come in thunder, but maybe it will come as a whisper (1 Kings 19:11-12). Be so close to Him through prayer that you will never miss that whisper.
2. Getting into His Word, seeking to know His heart. Learn all you can about Him. Be a person, like David, who was after God's own heart. If we do not know Him, He will cast us from His side (Matthew 7:21-23).
3. Surrender, give Him control. Of EVERYTHING in your life. Daily die to sin that you may live with Him (1 Peter 2:24!
4. Sing. Cry out to God. Pray. Allow Him to move and His spirit to fill you totally and completely as you worship in His presence and glory. "Where two or more people are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them," (Matthew 18:20).
Just looking at these four seems overwhelming, but with God at the center of our lives, our heart, mind, and will are all employed to worship Him with our everything.
May God bless you as you seek His heart and worship Him in spirit and in truth!
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