Thoughts

That's what a blog is for, right? Thoughts on a particular subject matter? Educated thoughts, uneducated conjectures at a specific topic- whatever they are, you can blog about them. Thus, I am going to subject you to my current thoughts.

Lately I have noticed that I am anything but an intellectual. My random thoughts, my stream of consciousness (thank you Mr. Joyce)- they don't hold any new ideas. I have discovered nothing new under the sun (thank you Solomon). Yet I yearn for understanding. I want to know everything! Not only what was in the past, like how the world was made, how old it is, and if evolution really did occur or if it is now happening; but also things in the future, like what the overwhelming amount of greenhouse gases is going to do to the earth's climate. I also want to know everything about God and His character. He was in the past, He is in the present, He is our future whether or not the earth becomes a "Wall-E" planet. It's Him that I seek after the most, information, Truths about who He is, what He is going to do- those are the longings of my heart. And it's just when I think I understand something that I realize I don't. Brennan Manning hits the nail on my head in his book "The Ragamuffin Gospel":

Imagine that Jesus is calling you today. He extends a second invitation– to accept His Father's love. And maybe you answer, "Oh, I know that. It's old hat. I've come to this book seeking insight in a fit of fervor. I'm wide open. I'll listen to anything you have to say, so go ahead, dazzle me. Lay a new word on me. I know the old one."
And God answers, That's what you don't know. You don't know how much I love you. The moment you think you understand is the moment you do not understand. I am God, not man. You tell others about Me- that I am a loving God. Your words are glib. My words are written in the blood of My only Son. The next time you preach about My love with such obnoxious familiarity, I may come and blow your whole prayer meeting apart. When you come at Me with studied professionalism, I will expose you as a rank amateur. When you try to convince others that you understand what you are talking about, I will tell you to shut up and fall flat on your face. You claim you know I love you.
Did you know that every time you tell Me you love Me, I say thank you?
When your son comes to you asking, "Do you like Susan more 'cause she skates better and she's a girl?" are you grieved and saddened over your child's lack of trust? Do you know that you do the same thing to Me?
Do you claim to know what we shared when Jesus withdrew to a deserted place or spent the night on a hillside alone with Me? Do you know from where the inspiration to wash the feet of the Twelve came? Do you understand that, motivated by love alone, your God became your slave in the Upper Room?
Were you grieved by the divine command to Abraham that he slay his only begotten Isaac on Mount Moriah? Were you relieved when the angel intervened, Abraham's hand was stayed, and the sacrifice was not carried out? Have you forgotten that on Good Friday no angel intervened? That sacrifice was carried out, and it was My heart that was broken.
Are you aware that I had to raise Jesus from the dead on Easter morning because My love is everlasting? Are you serenely confident that I will raise you, too, My adopted child?
Faith means you want God and want to want nothing else.

It's when I don't recognize this love that all fails in my life. I can't fathom His love for me. Honestly people- He sent His Son. To die. For me. For you. For your neighbor who you couldn't care less about. For your friend dealing with a drug problem. For your father who abused you. For your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. For your loving family. For that clerk in the grocery store. For that punk kid who ran into your car with his bike.

He died for everyone, so that we all may live with Him. Through Him, we have the hope of eternal life and we live in that hope daily. But why did He do it? Because He so loves us, always has, and always will. That's a beautiful thing that I can't fully wrap my head around. How could He unconditionally love me... the disgusting sinner that I am? Yet He does. Wow, that's some love. His love is SO GOOD. So so so so so good!

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8